Long Overdue Post

Hello Everyone, 

This is a long overdue post. I stopped blogging this year because I was so busy that I could either sleep at all, or blog. Now it has finally calmed down a little and I can adjust to everything that has happened over this past year. I’ve made amazing friends, finished my third year of university and had some very exciting opportunities and achievements. I’ve developed my dancing and teaching skills. But I was not blogging.

There are multiple reasons for this. Lack of time was the main one, but also the enthusiasm I had for blogging was gone. I didn’t know how to get up the energy or motivation to write. There wasn’t something I felt I could be writing about or for. This is due to a loss of my voice and what trying to say with my blog.  I got mixed up and bogged down by what other people were saying I should say, or what I sounded like.

I felt I had lost the uniqueness that I’d had last year, being the Scot in New Mexico, and I’ve been trying to deal with that. After spending last year going out and doing exciting stuff all the time, and being able to tell people about it through Life in the Deen. However, now I’m back in Aberdeen, I was suddenly just a face in a crowd. I was no longer ‘special’ or ‘memorable’, nothing more than just the short girl. I was just another Scottish girl at a Scottish university. My novelty had gone. And I lost a little confidence in myself. Instead of saying why not, I would just say why? Why me? And although that sounds whiney, it is how I felt. I felt I had to try so hard to be different, and to stand out, and although this was a fun year, it ended by falling a bit flat as I didn’t really move on from what I had been doing the past year. I am glad it’s over now. I hadn’t achieved everything I wanted to, and so I was disappointed with myself.

I discovered that people wouldn’t always listen to me, or believe in what I was saying, and for whatever reason they had, my face didn’t quite fit their vision. And even if you’re the one who worked hardest on something, that is not always rewarded or realised by people. And part of me felt, no feels, quite knocked by this. I was never going to be good enough, so why bother trying? I was not necessarily the best, but I am a grafter. However, claiming you will work the hardest at something is fairly hard to claim as a full-proof argument. Anyone can claim they will do that, it’s kinda par for the course.

I am a modest person. I am not good at bigging myself up anyway, and when you get hit with a stream of rejection, it’s almost impossible to continue to believe in yourself and your abilities. What makes you any different? Why should it be you? These questions can be asked as confidence boosters, or as cutting insults depending on the tone and inflection, and for that to be going on inside your own head can be incredibly damaging. Once a thought like that is conceived, and takes root, it is difficult to shift. And it will grow and develop until you no longer trust something you love to do.

To lose your way, and your voice is something that is incredibly difficult to do, and to explain.

I started concentrating on what something should be rather than trying to create what I wanted it to be. I got bogged down on details, and then did not voice my concerns when I didn’t understand or agree with something. I stopped thinking my voice was valid. I was hung up on how I should say something rather than what I could say, or wanted to say. And so, I lost my voice with Life in the Deen. I didn’t know what to say, because I didn’t think that anything I was saying was valid or worth anyone to listening to.

I am still working on it, and I give myself daily reminders that my voice is valid, my emotions don’t make it any less so, and I should remember that girl who went out to New Mexico last year. She was fearless and didn’t care what people thought of her. She was self-sufficient with her own independent spirit, and didn’t need someone else to validate her achievements for her. She had courage, and I need to channel that girl. She is still somewhere in me, and I have to remind myself of her. If you are feeling this way too, or have felt this way at some point in your life, comment below telling me about it. I’d love to hear about how you dealt with it, or are dealing with it. 

Liebster Award

Hello Everyone, 

I have been nominated by the lovely Seat 31d for the Liebster Award. Thank you for that. For people who don't know what this is, it is for new bloggers who don't have many followers to help them gain recognition. I have a list of questions set by Seat 31d to answer, and then I will nominate other bloggers, and set my own questions for them to answer. The bloggers I nominate can answer my questions and set 10-15 questions for the 5-10 bloggers they nominate too. 

1. Would you rather be able to Instagram but never Tweet or Tweet but never Instagram? 

I think I would rather Instagram but never tweet. I love my selfies too much. And with my exchange year, I want to be able to share my pictures of what I'm doing. 

2. Where do you want to be in five years time? 
Wow, this is going to be a deep one. I would love to be working in a magazine, or perhaps a newspaper. However, if life shows me a different path, I'm not going to deny it. I would want to still be blogging, perhaps with this blog, or another version of this blog (more on this later this week). 

3. What's the most recent book that you've read?
I just finished the end of a series called Girl in a Box, with its 10th book titled Limitless.I really enjoyed it. It has a pretty cool anti-heroine, who has all the smarts, although she doesn't know it.

4. If you were given one million pounds tomorrow, what would you spend it on?
Honestly, just because it has been on my mind so much, I would probably buy a 2 bed flat in Aberdeen for next year. And the rest of it I would save (oh, such a risk taker aren't I?). Apart from buying as many books as I want from Waterstones of course. 

5. What would your perfect day consist of?
Today, it would include a day where I have no work to do. Aside from that I don't really mind. Spending time with everyone I love would have to on that list too. And good food. And a book. Okay, I do mind a little. 

6. What is your favourite blog post that you have written?
My favourite blog post that I have written would have to be my post on Sex. It was such an interesting way to go, and a completely kind of post. I have always enjoyed writing about probing subjects that touch people emotionally in some way, and it was back to that sort of thing. 

7. What is your favourite post that you have read on someone else's blog? 
I read so many posts from different bloggers, my one favourite post is hard to decide. I really enjoyed this recent post by Olivia Cheryl, and this one about wearing make-up by Zoe London, and another about blogging itself by Jennypurr. These perhaps would be my favourites, but its so difficult when you are reading daily updates. 

8. What is the biggest life lesson you have learned and who was it from?
The biggest life lesson I have learned was the harder I work, the luckier I get. A lot of what I have done could be put down to luck, but I believe it is how I work, and being myself that clinches it. If I am asked to do something, I will do it with maturity and hard work. This was put to me in many different forms throughout my life from my Mum, Dad and others. However, it was especially put to me by my Uncle Dave in exactly those words. 

9. If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, which one would you pick? 
I think it would have to be Hercules. One story that I remember from being small is getting Hercules on video out of the library (yes, that wasn't so long ago), and I had it out for the week. Apparently I watched about 10 times in the row, taking it out immediately and rewinding it. That's good enough grounds to only watch one movie for the rest of my life I think. 

10. What's your most memorable experience of 2015 so far?
My most memorable experience of 2015 so far has to be climbing up a tree on Valentine's Day. It was for photos on my blog, and I thought it was a good idea, but I got stuck up the tree. I had to get some help getting down, but it still makes me smile anyway. 

11. What fear would you most like to conquer?
My fear of needles. I would like to give blood one day (if I ever meet the requirements of the NHS), and a fear of needles stands in the way of that. This irrational fear that is completely in my head caused me a lot of problems, and I need to get over it. 

I would like to nominate 

1. Olivia Cheryl from OlivaCheryl
2. Taylor from Repressing the Crazy
3. Emer from Emer O'Toole
4. Katrin Albert from Katrin Albert
5. BexOoo from The Vegetarian Option

My questions to them are:

1. What TV show are you watching on Netflix at the moment?
2. Coffee or Tea? 
3. If you were stuck on a desert island, what three items would you take with you and why?
4. What beauty item can you not live without?
5. How did you start your blog, what was the inspiration?
6. What did you imagine yourself to be doing right now 5 years ago?
7. Describe the best day you've ever had. 
8. Where in the world would you most like to travel to and why?
9. What would be your superpower? 
10. What is your favourite thing about blogging?
11. What is your greatest achievement to date?
12. What were your dreams when you were small, and how have they changed as you got older?


Comment below with links to your answers, I'd love to read them. 

Five on Friday

Hello Everyone,

It's time for me to revisit the fun link up Five on Friday, with April, Darci, Christina and Natasha. This one is full of my fun Go Pro pictures that I have taken in the last week. 

1.

Although my hand looks pretty weird in this, and I'm not smiling, I really like the naturalness of this photo. I was actually fixing the camera as it had fallen from its spot, and I'm just in the right spot at the right time. 

2. 

This is me actually posing, and as you can tell, I need to work on making sure the composer and placement in the photo is much more thought through. The sun is slightly too prominent in the photo, drowning out anything close to it in shadow, which is may face in this case. I either needed to be sitting higher, or the camera at a different angle. However, its not the worse photo I have ever taken. 

3. 

I'm posing pretty hard in this one, but I like the way it turned out more than the last one. It's slightly more thought provoking. What is she looking at? What is she thinking about? What music is she listening to? Unfortunately I can't remember any of the answers. Make up your own. 

4. 

Just about to try to do some reading in the sun. And posing. With a rather large hat. 

5. 

And this is not a Go Pro picture, but a picture of a Go Pro. That number is the number of pictures I have on my memory card. 

Planning Blog Posts

Hello Everyone, 

Planning blog posts takes a lot of my time. I like to start my planning on Saturday, where I decide on my subject matter for the week, and write it down using this planner by Fee, Make Up Savvy, which you can find here. I love this planner as it has boxes to tick when I have finished each stage of a post: writing it, choosing and editing a photo for it, and scheduling it. My aim is to be much more organised with my blog, hopefully getting ahead with my posts at some point. I try to get as much of my writing done during the weekend, freeing up my week for any reading, homework or tests that I have. I try to jot down my initial ideas about the posts in a notebook, getting the basic structure or outline sorted out. Then, I will write the post. I edit while I am typing it out, and then will re-edit as much as I can when I've got the picture(s) in. 

Sometimes I'll have a theme for the week, a subject I want to discuss in more than one post. Most of my travels are like that. I want to record as much as possible so I will split it up into logical sections. If there isn't a theme for the week, then I have some basic structure that are permanent features. Motivate Monday and Five on Friday are my quick and easy posts (although Five on Friday I don't always get around to doing). The ones that require more thought are the others, Tuesday to Thursday. They can be anything I want them to be. Sometimes deciding what to write about is difficult as there is so much choice. However, the more I do it, the easier it gets. I get inspiration from other blogs, articles I read, or conversations I have with one another. Sometimes an issue plays in my mind for weeks, or even months, before I write about it. 

A lot of the time I'll have lots of ideas of post series, or post ideas that never make it to print (online print). They are often something a bit off the wall and not achievable. But there are some that have managed to make it at least for a short while. You can find some of them in the sidebar in my past posts. Generally, I tend to write on subjects that I've been reading about, so a series isn't always possible. 

I hope this post has given you a little insight into how I plan and write blog posts. It may give you some ideas on how you could write posts, or writing an essay for uni. (I use the same basic principle when writing my own university work, without the pictures of course). 

Staying Motivated

Hello Everyone, 

Something that everyone finds difficult is staying motivated. Whether it is writing an essay, or a new exercise plan, your motivation is going to suffer at some point. They say it takes thirty days to create a habit, but getting through those thirty days are tough. So sometimes you need to employ some motivation techniques to get you through. 

Think about your long term goals. If you know your ultimate goals, then it is much easier to stay motivated. Put up reminders around your house about what it is you're aiming for to keep it in your mind constantly. Make sure this goal is a tangible thing that you are able to definitively say what you have achieved, or measurable. Otherwise it is very easy to get unmotivated and not able to get through the thirty days. 

Make a list of things you have to do to each day. The act of ticking off a task that you have finished on your list is one of the best feelings in the world. It is the feeling of accomplishment that no matter how small, you have done something productive today. You can make multiple lists, a daily one, weekly one, annual one, even a life one. Whatever works for you. I personally make daily lists as I tend to be a little forgetful about all the small tasks I have to do in a day, especially with lots of different deadlines coming up. It helps you prioritise what really needs to be done. 

One of the most important things is to love what you are doing, whether it be part of your job or an exciting new hobby, or even an old one. If you do not love it or enjoy it, you will lose motivation for it so quickly and easily. Also, don't do it to please others. If you do not want to do it, don't (this should be taken in perspective, if its doctor's orders or the law, please follow these to the letter). 

Don't be afraid to mix it up a little. If you find yourself in a bit of a rut, you love what you're doing, but are unexcited by the content of it, then change it around. Do something a little different, go to a class, or change your routine. For instance, when I've got a touch or writer's block with my posts, I will move from my laptop to a pad and pen. The change gets my creative juices flowing, and I think in a different way. 

As well as achieving your goal being a reward, why not give yourself short-term rewards? When you reach a certain point on your list, or reach a milestone in achieving your goal, have little reward for yourself. It could be a big thing, or a small thing. Whenever I finish a blog post or a homework assignment, or get so much studying done, I will reward myself with a cup of tea, and twenty minutes of no thinking time. It refreshes me for my next task, and gives me the motivation to finish one. When I reach a big goal, I will normally reward myself with a little shopping splurge, like a new dress, or top or skirt or whatever. But just one thing, otherwise it would get pretty expensive.

What keeps you motivated? What are your goals that you want to stay motivated for? Try some of these tips, or feel free to suggest others in the comments below, or by tweeting me @lifeinthedeen. 

My Love/Hate Realtionship with... Beauty Bloggers

Hello Everyone, 

I love beauty blogs. I could spend all day sitting and reading make-up reviews, make-up and styling tips. I love make-up tutorials and tips, tricks and hacks to make putting on your make-up much easier and quicker. Seeing people use the products that they write about is one of my favourite things to do. Watching video reviews is an interesting thing to do as well. There are countless ways to get into beauty blogging, and do it successfully. There is a reason that there are more beauty blogs than any other kind, as there is so much scope to put your own spin on it, and ways to get pretty successful pretty quickly.

However, as much as I love beauty blogs, and the personas behind them (because that's what keeps you coming back as much as the content), I have some small problems with them.

If there isn't a strong persona behind the blog, then no matter what their content is, and how good a review or product or tutorial it is, it gets very boring to read. However, not everyone has this ability to put across a well-put together persona behind their blog. It can be something as simple as they don't seem friendly enough when you're reading or watching to something as huge as the design of the blog. It's all these little things that make a big difference.

There are so many out there. There isn't quite enough time for me to read all the new beauty bloggers out there that I want to so I tend to stick to my favourites. This means that quite often I will be reading about the same products again and again, with generally similar reviews. So it becomes a bit boring to read about again and again and again.

Also, many of the beauty bloggers will not review too many truly high street brands, the best reviews will be centred around much more expensive brands which the general person is not able to afford. This makes reading beauty product reviews rather jarring as you know you cannot afford to pay £50 for a foundation, no matter how good it is. It would have to be miraculous in fact for me to want to spend that much on foundation (I don't really wear it that much). Also, reading some reviews of products only available in say, America (not too much of a problem at the moment) is also annoying as even if the product is reasonably priced, the package and posting will always put it out of the normal person's price range.

However, no matter how many problems I find with beauty bloggers, I am never going to stop reading them. I like make-up too much (and most of my problems stem from the fact I am slightly jealous that I don't look like them, can't (don't have time to) apply make-up as well as them, and that I can't yet afford their lifestyles.) But I will get there one day, and so can you too.

The Difficulties of being a Student Blogger

Hello Everyone, 

I've read so many posts on other blogs about how their blogs are written, and how they choose their content for their posts. One thing I have noticed is that the blogs I read are written by full time bloggers or stay-at-home mothers. Now, I love reading their blogs, but I always feel bad that I don't post as often as they do, or spend as much time blogging as they do. But I do just try to remember that I am a student. It isn't always possible for me to blog everyday, or have time to get ahead with posts. My studies have to come first, no matter how much I want to spend three hours a day working on my blog and the content and photos.

As a student we are stuck in a sort of limbo between childhood and teenage years, and being an actual adult. We have some of the qualities of both sides, and some that are completely unique to us alone. As generally, we don't have 'on, off' hours. There is no sign-out for us. Our hours are completely set to us, apart from the time we decide to go to class. This means that often free time is very busy really. We will have occasional nights off from our reading, homework, lectures, tests and studying to rest, and sleep. So finding the motivation on these nights to do something other than that is so difficult. I'm sure that the many stay-at-home mothers/bloggers feel the same, looking after children is a full time and tiring job, which I admire them for. However, children can be left to amuse themselves for a couple of hours a day, giving the mums free time to work on their blogs. Student jobs and tasks cannot be left, or they will not get done. Some days you are fighting to get four hours of sleep, let alone time to do anything else. So time is a commodity that many students do not have.

Another major limitation that students have in the way of blogging is money, or rather, a lack of it. There are two main platforms for free blogging: Blogger and Wordpress. However, if you are looking for something slightly more professional and custom-able to your own vision, you need some money for an annual subscription. This is pretty big commitment to someone who is probably just trying it out. Along with this base price, if you want to advertise your blog on social media, you will need to pay for that. Then if you want to advertise on another blogger's blog, then that costs too. Plus, for professional looking photos, there is the photo editing software for your computer and of course the camera itself and all the gadgets that go along with it. We are lucky enough to be living in an age that most of us have a camera in our pocket as our phones, but with this move in technology, the best looking photos are still done on a professional cameras. This all costs a lot. And students do not have the most money at the best of times. We generally do not have a full-time wage coming in and can just about afford the basics, along with the hope to save enough to pay off our loans (eventually). This lack of money means that it is much harder for a student-budget blog to stand out from the crowd that is the blogosphere.

I am not saying that it is impossible for a student-budget blog to make it. It will just require a lot of time and effort (and a lot of sleepless nights), probably more than other 'adult' blogs will have had to. However, despite these barriers to breaking into the industry, blogging still remains a huge passion of mine. I feel that all the work is worth it when I see how people react to my posts. And I'm still discovering more and more about the world of blogging every time I do it. There are ways around all the barriers above, whether it is better budgeting, or finding another way around it. So don't allow these things to stand in your way if you want to start. Grab your computer and some wifi, and off you go.