Returning to Aberdeen

Kings College- credit: wikipedia.org

Every student who returns from a year abroad will say that it was life-changing. It doesn’t matter who you speak to about it, it will have affected them in some way. Few people talk about the return in such a positive way. But coping with the return to ‘normal life’ is just as life changing as the time abroad.

After a year abroad, I have returned to complete my degree in Aberdeen. Returning is strange, another first in three years: the first time to repeat a setting. The location and people are familiar, but through a sort of lens of nostalgia, as if I am returning from twenty years away rather than just one. No longer being a fresher, in any sense, brings a new set of trials to face, with a new collection of pressures and challenges. I am able to keep going with what I want to do, within academia and out-with. Being the first year spent helping out at events rather than taking part, I feel like I have moved on with my life. I don’t have a completely new beginning this year. It is a new beginning, but one in which I do not have to carve my own identity into. I have a support group around me. The safety of this familiarity is refreshing, and allows me to really work hard at things other than making friends and being on ‘first impression’ mode for the first term.

A year abroad alters the mind-set about how to face challenges. To get the most of the year, you have to be able to go out and just do things. Talk to people, take part in events, go along to things by yourself, and not to be a wallflower. It gives someone courage to be clear about what they want or don’t want from people. It’s a special kind of courage that lets you get the most out of the year without regrets. You are able to say no to the people you want to say no to, and prioritise your own agendas. Keeping this going into your return to university is hard, as it is easy to slip back into old habits, but hold out from doing this. Keep yourself and your life in the forefront of your mind when committing to things. If you don’t really want to do something, have the courage to say no.

The lack of immediate socialisation after being in halls for two years makes it easy to fall back into isolation, and to lock yourself in your room as a result. As a fresher no longer, things are not put onto a plate easily for you. More effort has to be put in to find out what is going and what is open to you. In order to see your friends, you have to actually go and see your friends. There is very little immediate socialisation at all times of the day, other than maybe a flatmate, and staying on track with work is much harder. As a returning student you are expected to have a higher degree of responsibility with your money, work load and social life. Simply signing up to everything isn’t an option; you don’t have the time or money.

Returning from abroad is harder than you think it’s going to be. You have to balance catching up with your old friends, while coping with the loss of your friends abroad, and keeping up with your studies, as well as looking forward what will happen when it is time to leave university. Just remember, it won’t come immediately, but give it time, and you will strike your own balance.

Being thin

Hello Everyone,

There is a lot going around these days about accepting yourself and loving your body, especially if you're curvy, and those evil, evil men with their Photoshop are not promoting your body type. Its okay, you're beautiful with those curves, and those girls that don't have them are just bitches. They're entitled middle class white girls who don't know anything apart from being a pretty face. Karma will get them, just wait and see, men like women with curves, not ones that are shaped like a 12 year old boy (or are thin enough to be called that). 

Okay, I may have been a little melodramatic with that point. But consider it. There are so many things out there that are 'thin-shaming' today, pictures with a slim girl in a bikini wet and bedraggled after coming out of the ocean with a bad angle, compared with a picture of Marilyn Monroe with the the caption: "When did this become sexier than this?" Since when was this acceptable, but reverse the images and it becomes cyber-bullying, people come down hard on you for it? 

I've been lucky throughout my (short) life that I haven't needed to particularly worry about my weight, I've always been slender, and had a fairly fast metabolism. In primary school, I was often called 'the Dustbin' as I would eat anything and everything, because I was always hungry. I love food, and will eat a lot of it. As I grew older, this suddenly became a big deal. I got told that I was 'lucky' or that I will one day regret eating all that food. People would look at me strangely whenever there was a buffet, as I would fill my plate up, and then go back for more once it was empty. So my plate sizes reduced. It was a gradual thing, until I realised that I would never be able to compete with the boys my age, something I had always been able to do. Now, I don't think that there is a particular problem with this, I never deprived myself of anything, and I never went hungry. But the fact that people looked at me like that, and with such judgement that a twelve to fifteen year old became self-conscious about the amount she ate, and changed it to avoid such gazes is appalling. Being thin and not eating next to nothing became reason for judgement. 

I was also told by girls (not guys, funnily enough) that I was too thin, and that I needed curves. In fact, one girl actually told me that a dress I was wearing would fit her better, because she had some curves to fill it out. So, no wonder I have some body issues, and weight is one of them. There is a lot of pressure for thin girls to remain thin, or to be thinner, just as there is pressure on over-weight girls to lose weight. We are told we should be happy with our bodies. If I say anything bad about the way I look, I get told that I shouldn't have any body troubles because I am thin. Or someone will tell me that I need to put some weight on, that I need some meat on my bones, and that's why I have problems buying clothes. Because I'm too thin. 

Now the situation changed slightly. I will choose to have a salad, and I get looks, and people saying to me, 'you don't need to eat that, you're thin.' 'I would love to be thin, you can eat whatever you want' as if being thin means no body problems or anxieties. So, essentially, I get judgement when I eat a lot, and judgement when I eat less, or opt for the healthier option. The common denominator has to be being thin. When I was younger I could put it down to people just being jealous. Now, I'm not so sure. The media are either going one way or another, the 'you must be skinny in order to be beautiful, look at all this weight this celeb has lost', or the 'you must have curves to be desirable, or to feel good about yourself in any way'. Sometimes they do both at the same time. This has to stop. People are beautiful just the way they are, if they're happy with their body, accept it. Don't tell them things to make them feel bad about their body, like you need to lose weight, or you need to put on some. Or to try the children's section when you go shopping. 

This has happened to me. A high street shop that I've gone to, especially for jeans, will not have any in my size. I ask them if they have any in the back, and they say that they don't stock clothing in that size because nobody is that size. Well, clearly people are, and what are we expected to wear in the meantime, as it is illegal to walk around with no clothes on? And I get told to try the children's section. Now this is not too offensive to me as a student, as I'll take anything as long as it is cheap (and no VAT on children's clothes is exactly that), but for my mother, who was just about fifty when this was told to her (in M&S, the slightly older women's clothes shop) that she should try the children's section for a pair of pajamas. Now, don't get me wrong, my mum looks good for her age, and is still pretty slender, but no way is she going to fit into child size pajamas (even the age sixteen which I think I will never fit). 

We should accept people for the size they are, or perhaps not judge them depending on their size, but their personality. Don't comment on someone's size, even if you think of it as a compliment, it might not be one to them. Instead of saying, 'you look really thin in that', just say that they look nice, or it brings out their eyes. It makes anyone feel better to hear that, that their worth is not dependent on their size. A throw-away comment can stick with someone for ever, especially when they hear it enough. 

Valentine's Day as a Single Gal

Hello Everyone,

Since it has been a year since I started my blog, I thought I would revisit my most popular post from last year. And, since it was just Valentine's Day, it makes sense to do this one.

This Valentines' Day was an interesting one to say the least. Not filled with rose-petals and romance, but memorable either way. I got up early to work on some homework and reading that I had, and then breakfast with my roommate. After this I went outside to take some pictures with my GoPro. I was planning a Spring outfits post for today, but then some things struck me, and changed the post to the one I am doing now.

Valentines' Day is a big deal in America. A much bigger deal than in Britain. It is a day that is heaven if you're in a relationship, and hell if you're not. I've been reminded a lot more that as I don't have a current partner at the moment, then I am failing miserably in society's expectations of me. I am supposed to be only trying to meet the guy of my dreams, as well as getting my career sorted and becoming financially independent from my parents. Having it all, and having it all sorted by the time I'm thirty maximum. Why does Valentines' day have to put so much pressure on people to have the picture perfect life?

I'm not sure if this is what guys feel at Valentines' Day, but as Barney Stinson points out, not having a date on 14th February means that a lot of girls get desperate, so guys can take advantage of this desperation. We feel like we have to be in a relationship, and be loved as a result. There is a failure in this way of thinking about Valentine's Day, that its encouraged to be in any relationship, no matter how new or unhealthy they are.

I have many happy Valentines' Days, my best friend would often leave cute little presents at my front door with no note attached, almost like my own secret admirer. Last years' Valentines' was pretty eventful and comedic. This year was no different. Long story short, I got stuck up a tree. I'm not normally this accident prone, but it seems something in me wants to take back Valentines' Day for me. I'm single, cool, and have no need for someone else to define me. Keep it in perspective. Its just one day of the year. Nobody should be ashamed of being alone, ever. I'd rather be a single, well grounded person than an emotional wreck in a relationship (and I mean toxic relationships that mess with your psyche and put you in a bad place). Take your Valentines' Day back for yourself in some way, and be happy with the way you are. Don't be ashamed of your singleness, and don't hate on those lucky enough to be in a relationship either. Let them have their celebrations together, and be happy that they have someone to share it with. You'll get it one day.

There are 365 days in a year. One of them is Valentines' Day. That's a lot of time where not being in a relationship doesn't matter. So don't let that one day make a difference. And remember: Tomorrow's another day.

Going Out

Hello Everyone, 

Every girl loves going out. Especially, the getting ready to go out. Picking your outfit, choosing the accessories, and doing make-up. Its the only time it is perfectly acceptable to spend half an hour in the shower doing absolutely nothing. However, my favourite part is doing my makeup. I will spend so much time doing, just because I am going out. There are some items that I will never leave for a night out without them in my make-up bag. 

Simple Ultra-Light Gel Moisturiser

An extra light moisturiser is perfect as a base for make-up. It is especially good as being ultra light, it stops you looking quite so shiny when you're sweating on the dance floor. The gel formula holds onto your make-up pretty well too, so you don't really need a primer, unless you have ultra oily skin. 

Rimmel London Stay Matte Pressed Powder Tansparent

Mattifying powder is a must when I go out, and this is the best one I have ever used on the high street. I use instead of foundation, but it can be used as a setting powder for your base, giving you a matte finish that lasts all day and night. It comes in a variety of colours, including Transparent, so it is suitable for all skin types. 

Rimmel London Gel Eyeliner in Black/Emerald

Depending on the look I'm going for, I will generally use either black gel eyeliner, or Kate Moss's Emerald. Everyone loves a winged eyeliner, and I love using interesting shades and colours, so these are perfect. 

(From left to right) Tanya Burr Lipgloss Vampire Kiss, Max Factor Lipfinity Lasting Lip Tint in 09, Clinique Red-y to Wear

Red lips are my signature 'look' for a night out, so I have a slightly large collection of red lips. I use stain, gloss and classic lipstick. These three are my favourite. The Clinique is a blue toned red that reminds me of Marilyn Monroe, it is a glossy, glamorous finish that reminds me of the Hollywood Golden Age. The Max Factor Lip Tint has incredibly good colour pay-off, it will last all day with no bleeding. The Tanya Burr Vampire Kiss Gloss was a Christmas present to myself, and it is gorgeous, it can be worn by itself or with the stain. 

Mac Amplified Lipstick in Violetta

Although you can never go wrong with a red lip, sometimes I want to try something a little different, and my love of interesting colours means that I am often drawn to this. A gorgeous purple with a slight shimmer to it with a satin finish, this is fantastic if you want to spice up your normal make-up look. 

L'Oreal Paris Colour Appeal Trio Pro Blue Eyes

Creating a smoky eye could not be easier with this little kit. This one is made specifically for blue eyes, but there are some for other colours too. It makes my eyes pop, and is very versatile with other palettes and in creating different shapes with the shadow. 

New Look Pure Colour Glitter Nail Polish in Rose Gold

This adds a little sparkle to every outfit. Simply apply a coat over existing nail polish, or for a more subtle approach, use a clear base coat, and apply on its own. Rose gold is a lovely colour, and will enhance any nail colour. 

My Daily Routine

Hello Everyone, 

I love beauty, and beauty tips and recommendations of beauty products. The only time I cannot leave a shop without purchasing something almost all of the time is when it sells beauty products. So I am going to go through my make-up collection (condensed make-up collection, I may add), and use each item at least once in a post, either reviewing them or using them in a make-up tip.

I have a lot of 'everyday' products that I use, depending on time restraints, my having a 'good skin day', or what I 'look' I am aiming for that day. The ones in this post are some that I keep going back to again and again.

This was a new product that I picked up on a whim, and I love it. It removes my makeup incredibly easily and without any harsh dragging on my delicate eye area. My mascara and eyeliner seems to melt off my eyes without my realising it. I was worried that it would make my skin break out after I used it, but it does not seem to block my pores. 

I am really careful about what I use on my skin, as I don't want to use too many harsh chemicals on my skin, stripping it of its natural oils, causing more breakouts as my skin works to replenish it ten fold and clogging up my pores. Simple is very good, and doesn't cause my skin to flare up incessantly. I love this cleanser particularly because although it doesn't get rid of blackheads, it does leave my skin feeling refreshed and it does not get as oily throughout the day as it normally does.

I love this moisturiser. It manages to both moisturise my skin, and keep shine off my face all day. All I have is a nice dewy glow to my face, not oily. The fact that it works with my cleanser is a bonus as well. 

This was another impulse buy. I had been constantly reading about the foundation that goes with this concealer and it was on offer, so I tried out a tester. It matched perfectly with my skin, so I bought some. It completely covers any under-eye discolouration that I have, and makes my eye area much brighter and much more awake. And of course, you can't even tell that I'm wearing it. 

I've just started filling in my eyebrows, and this is the only light brown powder that matches my eyebrow colour. It is a darker brown than I would normally use, but when on, it is much lighter than in the palette. It makes my eyebrows much less sparse looking, and while I am growing them out, it creates an even shape and colour. 

This is a quick fix for my already ruddy cheeks, creating some depth and definition in the apples of my cheeks. The slight shimmer also brings out a glow in the apples, along with a highlight. 

Rimmel London Soft Kohl Kajal Eyeliner in Black and White
Maybelline ExpertWear Eyebrow Pencil in Blonde

My pencil eyeliners are staples. I use the white one on my lower waterline to create a wide eye look, the black to outline my lower lash line, and the pale brown if I am in a rush with my eyebrows. The pencil gives my eye brows structure and definition quickly. 

No. 7 Stay Precise Felt Tip Eyeliner in Black/Brown

This felt tip eyeliner is a life saver, creating winged lines in a flash. It also can get right into my lash line drawing a thin line to create a natural boost for my eyelashes, making them seem fuller and darker, and defining my eyes. 

Urban Decay Naked 1 Palette

The Naked Palette is something that I just love. I feel incredibly chic when I wear it, as I have never really been that good with nudes, but this palette makes it easy. The colour pay-off is very good, with it staying on my eyes all day. The bronze undertone to all the shades really makes my blue eyes pop, and there are enough shades to create a multitude of looks. 

No. 7 Exceptional Definition Mascara in Black

This mascara is a life saver. It creates fuller, longer looking lashes with a natural looking curl. It does everything I want in a mascara, with no clumping. If I am in a rush in the mornings, all I do is apply this, and I'm good to go. 

What are your 'go to' products in the morning? 

How to Say NO

Hello Everyone,

I found it incredibly difficult to say no. I hate to disappoint people, and would rather try to do many things all at once than say no to other people. When I am unable to make an event, I feel a lot of guilt about it, even if it isn't my fault. During the Christmas holidays, I had to cancel plans with a friend because I was sick, and I felt awful about it. So you can tell that I hate saying no to people. 

I've been told that I do a lot, but I always think, I could do more. There are still days where I have no tasks, no things to go to. There are still points in the day where I don't have to rush around to go and do something. If I sit and just watch TV, or just read a book, I hear thoughts in my head saying 'you're wasting time when you could be doing something useful'. I never thought that I had a problem, until I met someone worse than me. Its funny how an outside perspective gives you a rational thought that the person is doing too much, but you don't apply it to yourself. Saying no is difficult, especially when society has conditioned you to want to say yes. Saying no has a negative connotation in society. If you say no, then you're not open to change, or new experiences.

It is something that I had to learn to do. Make my priorities and stick to them. If I commit to one thing first, unless it is an emergency, do not try to do too much at once. Concentrate on the things I am doing, and do them well. And do you know what? It was such a revelation. It is very liberating to say no to someone just for the reason that you can't do it. It's too much work, or  I am simply unable to make it. Or just say that I don't want to, that it is not my thing. I'm not going to turn down an opportunity, but I will be clever about it. I will do as much as I can, but I will not stretch myself too thinly or allow myself to burn out. Days off are good. Just not quite as good as days where you get a lot done. 

Try it. Say no to someone you wouldn't normally would, unless you actually want to do it. Don't just go along with something because everyone else wants to, or you think you 'should' do it. 

How to Plan A Solo Journey

Hello Everyone, 

Planning a solo journey is not as hard as it seems. I have had had to do a couple myself, and will be doing more of it in the near future, so I thought I would write down a few of my tips for it.

Plan Ahead. This may seem obvious, but make sure you have planned the trip carefully. Make sure that all the dates match up, and the same with hotels and places you're going. Make sure that you are going where you want to be going. For example, there is both a Las Vegas, Nevada, and a Las Vegas, New Mexico. Don't get these mixed up, your trip would be a bit of a disappointment.

Explore all the options for travel. Sometimes the most direct route is not necessarily the best one. Sometimes a train journey would be more interesting, and you can see more of the sights that way. An all inclusive trip is not always the least expensive. Make sure you explore all the options that are open to you.

There are some things you should not try to save money on. Insurance for example. If you skimp on insurance, then if an emergency happens, you may end up with a lot of money to pay for a fairly simple procedure that your insurance would have covered. If you lose something valuable, or it was stolen, then your insurance can often cover it, and replace it for you. Another thing not to skimp on is where you live. I'm not saying that you shouldn't choose the cheapest option, but just make sure that what you're getting is worth your money. Make sure you're in the right sort of neighbourhood, with the right kind of option for you. However, there are many things you can save money on: travel, food, sights, location. So don't worry about having a budget holiday, you can still save money.

Read blogs. Many travel blogs will give better recommendations than guide books as they will have been in the location much more recently, and often have similar situations to their readers. That is not to say don't buy a guide book. They are also very useful when you're looking for things like maps, public transport links etc. And unless you have unlimited international internet on your phone, it will cost you a lot more than a simple  guidebook to read blogs on your phone as you sight see.

Planning Blog Posts

Hello Everyone, 

Planning blog posts takes a lot of my time. I like to start my planning on Saturday, where I decide on my subject matter for the week, and write it down using this planner by Fee, Make Up Savvy, which you can find here. I love this planner as it has boxes to tick when I have finished each stage of a post: writing it, choosing and editing a photo for it, and scheduling it. My aim is to be much more organised with my blog, hopefully getting ahead with my posts at some point. I try to get as much of my writing done during the weekend, freeing up my week for any reading, homework or tests that I have. I try to jot down my initial ideas about the posts in a notebook, getting the basic structure or outline sorted out. Then, I will write the post. I edit while I am typing it out, and then will re-edit as much as I can when I've got the picture(s) in. 

Sometimes I'll have a theme for the week, a subject I want to discuss in more than one post. Most of my travels are like that. I want to record as much as possible so I will split it up into logical sections. If there isn't a theme for the week, then I have some basic structure that are permanent features. Motivate Monday and Five on Friday are my quick and easy posts (although Five on Friday I don't always get around to doing). The ones that require more thought are the others, Tuesday to Thursday. They can be anything I want them to be. Sometimes deciding what to write about is difficult as there is so much choice. However, the more I do it, the easier it gets. I get inspiration from other blogs, articles I read, or conversations I have with one another. Sometimes an issue plays in my mind for weeks, or even months, before I write about it. 

A lot of the time I'll have lots of ideas of post series, or post ideas that never make it to print (online print). They are often something a bit off the wall and not achievable. But there are some that have managed to make it at least for a short while. You can find some of them in the sidebar in my past posts. Generally, I tend to write on subjects that I've been reading about, so a series isn't always possible. 

I hope this post has given you a little insight into how I plan and write blog posts. It may give you some ideas on how you could write posts, or writing an essay for uni. (I use the same basic principle when writing my own university work, without the pictures of course). 

Alcohol

Hello Everyone, 

I originally had another post planned for today, but with things on my mind, I decided to draft it, and have another one today. It's a subject I haven't talked about before, but has been weighing on my mind pretty heavily recently. Alcohol. 

On New Year, I drank pretty heavily. In fact, I drank so much that I still don't remember everything that happened. I was walked home by my friend's mum, and my mum put me to bed. The day after was one of the worst of my life. This wasn't just the hangover nausea that made it bad, although it didn't help. It was the emotional stress that I had. I felt like I had lost control over everything. My body. My mind. Everything I hold dear to myself. I had put my family through a horrible night. My mum and dad especially. I put my dad onto the couch, and worried the hell out of my mum. This may sound like a wholly middle class problem. I am not the worst, and I am not pretending to be. I know that it isn't as bad as some people's struggles with alcohol. I am the furthest thing from an alcoholic, and I am not suggesting that I have a problem with it. I just had a bad experience, and it has affected me. 

The loss of control over yourself is not something I find fun. I have never found it fun. Getting drunk never appealed to me, much like jumping off a cliff doesn't appeal to anyone generally. So I would occasionally have a couple of drinks to loosen up when I went out with friends, and we'd have a good time. However, going to America perhaps meant that I didn't drink, and I missed going into bars and having fun with friends and this perhaps ended up meaning that I associated drinking with having fun. So when I got home I went out and got a little bit excited about the fact I could drink again. New Year was the start of that. 

I thought I could move on from it. Don't go out for a while. No parties. Nothing. Go sober for a while, and see where it takes me. I'm not saying I'll never drink again, but never more than one. And not until I am able to smell alcohol without gagging. This will be a personal journey for me, and I don't know what I will end up doing. One thing I can say is that I will never get in that state again. I was lucky that I was in a place that someone could look after me, and make sure I got home in time. 

Last semester at UNM, two girls were killed in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. Drink can cause so many problems if you are not safe about it. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive ever. Have at least one sober person in a group. Before you go to bed, drink three large glasses of water. Make sure you mix up your drinks with water, try every third drink being a soft drink or water. 

Moving out

Hello Everyone, 

In case you didn't know, I moved back into my room in the UNM dorms and started classes again. There has been a huge increase of work and reading that I have to do since last semester, but I have just enough time to get it all done. As long as I am willing to work hard. And don't get too stressed. 

I have been moving in an out of rooms for a while now, and while I haven't always been too good at packing and making priorities, I am much better at it than I was. One tip I have learned is when packing, with almost every item (apart from underwear), ask yourself, do I need it? Have I got anything else like it? This is especially useful when you have too many things to fit into your case, or need to lose some weight from it. If it isn't completely necessary, then don't take it.

Less is always more, if you can buy something where ever you are going, do that. This means you have more room in your suitcase for things that you may not be able to buy.

Hand-luggage is pretty important. If you can, have one smaller bag with everything you're going to need for the travelling, inside a larger bag, and once you are on the plane, or whatever mode of transport you are using, take it out of the larger bag, leaving you able to stow it out of your way for the entirety of the journey.

I hope these couple of tips help you if you're packing for a trip at some point.

Staying Motivated

Hello Everyone, 

Something that everyone finds difficult is staying motivated. Whether it is writing an essay, or a new exercise plan, your motivation is going to suffer at some point. They say it takes thirty days to create a habit, but getting through those thirty days are tough. So sometimes you need to employ some motivation techniques to get you through. 

Think about your long term goals. If you know your ultimate goals, then it is much easier to stay motivated. Put up reminders around your house about what it is you're aiming for to keep it in your mind constantly. Make sure this goal is a tangible thing that you are able to definitively say what you have achieved, or measurable. Otherwise it is very easy to get unmotivated and not able to get through the thirty days. 

Make a list of things you have to do to each day. The act of ticking off a task that you have finished on your list is one of the best feelings in the world. It is the feeling of accomplishment that no matter how small, you have done something productive today. You can make multiple lists, a daily one, weekly one, annual one, even a life one. Whatever works for you. I personally make daily lists as I tend to be a little forgetful about all the small tasks I have to do in a day, especially with lots of different deadlines coming up. It helps you prioritise what really needs to be done. 

One of the most important things is to love what you are doing, whether it be part of your job or an exciting new hobby, or even an old one. If you do not love it or enjoy it, you will lose motivation for it so quickly and easily. Also, don't do it to please others. If you do not want to do it, don't (this should be taken in perspective, if its doctor's orders or the law, please follow these to the letter). 

Don't be afraid to mix it up a little. If you find yourself in a bit of a rut, you love what you're doing, but are unexcited by the content of it, then change it around. Do something a little different, go to a class, or change your routine. For instance, when I've got a touch or writer's block with my posts, I will move from my laptop to a pad and pen. The change gets my creative juices flowing, and I think in a different way. 

As well as achieving your goal being a reward, why not give yourself short-term rewards? When you reach a certain point on your list, or reach a milestone in achieving your goal, have little reward for yourself. It could be a big thing, or a small thing. Whenever I finish a blog post or a homework assignment, or get so much studying done, I will reward myself with a cup of tea, and twenty minutes of no thinking time. It refreshes me for my next task, and gives me the motivation to finish one. When I reach a big goal, I will normally reward myself with a little shopping splurge, like a new dress, or top or skirt or whatever. But just one thing, otherwise it would get pretty expensive.

What keeps you motivated? What are your goals that you want to stay motivated for? Try some of these tips, or feel free to suggest others in the comments below, or by tweeting me @lifeinthedeen. 

Self Confidence

Hello Everyone, 

Self confidence is something I have always struggled with, that is, I don't really have too much of it. Most people will suffer from self confidence issues at some point in their life, and people who say they haven't are lying. Who hasn't questioned themselves or their actions or the way they look at some point in their lives? Nobody is completely sure of themselves all the time, it isn't possible.

Life throws you some curve-balls at times that make you question whether what you are doing is right. We all have existential crises now and again. It is what makes us human, and gives us the ability to change. When you next start questioning where your life is going, don't let yourself get bogged down on the questions, but actually look at your answers. It doesn't matter whether the questions are something as simple as 'Do I look nice in this outfit?' to 'Where is my life going? What am I doing with it?' If you aren't completely happy with some of your answers, then find a way to change them. Don't let feeling sorry for yourself bog you down from taking your life and making it your own. Only by questioning ourselves can we learn and grow as a person and get better.

But beware. If you are constantly questioning yourself and can never feel like you've done a good job, then what you need to do is concentrate on the things you've done well, the positives in a situation. Think of one thing that you did well, just one thing, and your confidence levels will soar. Nobody can get everything right all the time, and you have accept that. If you need help with the way you look, the same principle applies. Find one thing that you like about yourself, every day, and slowly it will get easier to see what other people see and love. Your confidence levels will rise, and you will be happier with the way you look. It's not always just the physical look, it's all in the mental attitude to yourself.

If you find that your confidence levels soar when you get other people's approval, then that's a good thing. Everyone likes to be appreciated, and someone reinforcing your thoughts on something that you've done helps. However, if you also find that if your confidence levels drop extremely when you get criticism, especially from someone that you care about and want them to think highly of you, be careful. Yes, take on board their criticism, and try to change it the next time, but nobody can change the past. You have to use it to alter the future. And if there is that one person that is constantly on your back about something, then ask yourself 'why is that?' Is it something you are doing, or is it their problem. Even if it is your problem, remember this: 'haters gonna hate.' There is always going to be someone who will never see what you see, or value what you value, and that's okay. A little bit of encouragement and criticism from people is good, but too much of either will make you complacent or completely discouraged. Keep everything in perspective.

I subscribe to the belief that self-confidence is not something that you always have, but something that you put on to others. You make others believe that you are self-confident in order to foster trust in a relationship, because who could trust someone who constantly questioned themselves every time they had to make a decision. It is how you get by in life, by pretending to have confidence in what you do, even when you don't. Remember this when you are next questioning your life or relationships. Everyone does it. Everybody is a person who lacks confidence in someway or another, and needs to blag their way through at some stage. Everybody suffers self-doubt. So don't let that scare you from taking a risk because most people will admire you for it. Don't ask 'why me?' Ask why not me? And you will be unstoppable.

My Love/Hate Realtionship with... Beauty Bloggers

Hello Everyone, 

I love beauty blogs. I could spend all day sitting and reading make-up reviews, make-up and styling tips. I love make-up tutorials and tips, tricks and hacks to make putting on your make-up much easier and quicker. Seeing people use the products that they write about is one of my favourite things to do. Watching video reviews is an interesting thing to do as well. There are countless ways to get into beauty blogging, and do it successfully. There is a reason that there are more beauty blogs than any other kind, as there is so much scope to put your own spin on it, and ways to get pretty successful pretty quickly.

However, as much as I love beauty blogs, and the personas behind them (because that's what keeps you coming back as much as the content), I have some small problems with them.

If there isn't a strong persona behind the blog, then no matter what their content is, and how good a review or product or tutorial it is, it gets very boring to read. However, not everyone has this ability to put across a well-put together persona behind their blog. It can be something as simple as they don't seem friendly enough when you're reading or watching to something as huge as the design of the blog. It's all these little things that make a big difference.

There are so many out there. There isn't quite enough time for me to read all the new beauty bloggers out there that I want to so I tend to stick to my favourites. This means that quite often I will be reading about the same products again and again, with generally similar reviews. So it becomes a bit boring to read about again and again and again.

Also, many of the beauty bloggers will not review too many truly high street brands, the best reviews will be centred around much more expensive brands which the general person is not able to afford. This makes reading beauty product reviews rather jarring as you know you cannot afford to pay £50 for a foundation, no matter how good it is. It would have to be miraculous in fact for me to want to spend that much on foundation (I don't really wear it that much). Also, reading some reviews of products only available in say, America (not too much of a problem at the moment) is also annoying as even if the product is reasonably priced, the package and posting will always put it out of the normal person's price range.

However, no matter how many problems I find with beauty bloggers, I am never going to stop reading them. I like make-up too much (and most of my problems stem from the fact I am slightly jealous that I don't look like them, can't (don't have time to) apply make-up as well as them, and that I can't yet afford their lifestyles.) But I will get there one day, and so can you too.

Letters From America: Packing

Hello Everyone, 

Packing is difficult. You will put it off, and put it off until you physically cannot put it off anymore. So when the time comes where you must get your packing done, you need a lot of help. Here are a five helpful steps to getting your packing done ASAP for my Five on Friday post.

1. Choose your bag. If you only have one bag, then use that. But if you have a choice in bags, then choose which one you are most likely to need. A rucksack for a weekend trip will do. You do not need a huge suitcase for one weekend away (unless you are a student and are taking washing home for the parents to do). 
2. Decide what you need. Not want. Things that you cannot live without and are necessary for your survival. So if it is a school trip, or an organised trip that sends you a list of things you need, lay these out first. Items such as clothes, toiletries, underwear are also to be laid out at this point. One outfit per day, no more, no less. This means that any extra things like laptops, snacks or makeup are not packed at this point. 
3. Put these things in your bag. And see how much room you have left. If you have any room left, you may decide what extra things you want. If an extra pair of shoes will fit then you can put them in at this point. If you want to put in some makeup and things as well, do that too. (Although girls, you will always need less makeup than you think you do. Go down the simple fresh faced look, and you'll be golden). Try and prioritise what you want as well as what you need. If you could live without it, and are comfortable living without it, then do not take it. 
4. Make sure you fold everything you can. Folding things flat will take up less space, so this means that will will be able to take more things. Or you will be able to take a smaller bag (especially useful if you have weight limits on planes). It also means that your clothes will not be too creased when you get there, so no hunting around for an iron in the mornings. 
5. Make a check-list of everything you have brought. This is for when you are heading back, you know that you have not forgotten anything. If you buy anything while there, make sure you add it to the list so it won't be forgotten either. 

Any other tips you think we need while packing that you think I have forgotten, or another tip that you yourself have picked up along the way, comment below with them.

P.S. This link up is hosted by the lovely ladies April, Darci, Christina and Natasha, so please go check them out, I love reading their posts.