Today has been a bit of an off day. I can't seem to find any motivation to get my work done when I should be. I'm feeling like the tasks I have to do are too big that they're pretty scary to think about starting. My game has been off, and I have lost a bit of my working mojo.
Its not that I don't know what I've got to do, I just haven't got the motivation to start doing it. I am distracted, and its getting difficult to remember the long list is there. It never gets any smaller no matter how much work I do, so what's the point. The goal of Spring Break is coming up, but the fun trip away may not happen as I hoped. I have so much work that I think I may have to be doing that as well as my sightseeing. So no break from work.
This is a problem with American schools. The pupils can be easily burned out from the sheer volume of work they are expected to do. However, there are people who manage to skate by with barely any work. How can you get a degree by doing that? How can there be any value to something that some people work for and others don't?
I am working from 9 o'clock until 11 o'clock every night to just about manage to get halfway through my list of assignments. Sometimes not even halfway. Readings more than fifty pages long, sometimes an entire book for one measly class that you don't even spend 15 minutes on. Its a constant battle, one that I am not winning. My grades are not bad, but nowhere as good as they should be. It feels like the lead up to finals week all over again.
What I need to do is find some kind of motivation to get through what is going to be a difficult few weeks. Its hard to find something that seems never ending. If I promise myself that I will work for 6 hours and then get a break, its not going to work. However, if I promise to myself that for every hour I work hard (with no breaks) then I get a cup of tea and a fifteen minute read of my book, then perhaps it will work. Hopefully, maybe.