Thursday, 13 November 2014

Self Confidence

Hello Everyone, 

Self confidence is something I have always struggled with, that is, I don't really have too much of it. Most people will suffer from self confidence issues at some point in their life, and people who say they haven't are lying. Who hasn't questioned themselves or their actions or the way they look at some point in their lives? Nobody is completely sure of themselves all the time, it isn't possible.

Life throws you some curve-balls at times that make you question whether what you are doing is right. We all have existential crises now and again. It is what makes us human, and gives us the ability to change. When you next start questioning where your life is going, don't let yourself get bogged down on the questions, but actually look at your answers. It doesn't matter whether the questions are something as simple as 'Do I look nice in this outfit?' to 'Where is my life going? What am I doing with it?' If you aren't completely happy with some of your answers, then find a way to change them. Don't let feeling sorry for yourself bog you down from taking your life and making it your own. Only by questioning ourselves can we learn and grow as a person and get better.

But beware. If you are constantly questioning yourself and can never feel like you've done a good job, then what you need to do is concentrate on the things you've done well, the positives in a situation. Think of one thing that you did well, just one thing, and your confidence levels will soar. Nobody can get everything right all the time, and you have accept that. If you need help with the way you look, the same principle applies. Find one thing that you like about yourself, every day, and slowly it will get easier to see what other people see and love. Your confidence levels will rise, and you will be happier with the way you look. It's not always just the physical look, it's all in the mental attitude to yourself.

If you find that your confidence levels soar when you get other people's approval, then that's a good thing. Everyone likes to be appreciated, and someone reinforcing your thoughts on something that you've done helps. However, if you also find that if your confidence levels drop extremely when you get criticism, especially from someone that you care about and want them to think highly of you, be careful. Yes, take on board their criticism, and try to change it the next time, but nobody can change the past. You have to use it to alter the future. And if there is that one person that is constantly on your back about something, then ask yourself 'why is that?' Is it something you are doing, or is it their problem. Even if it is your problem, remember this: 'haters gonna hate.' There is always going to be someone who will never see what you see, or value what you value, and that's okay. A little bit of encouragement and criticism from people is good, but too much of either will make you complacent or completely discouraged. Keep everything in perspective.

I subscribe to the belief that self-confidence is not something that you always have, but something that you put on to others. You make others believe that you are self-confident in order to foster trust in a relationship, because who could trust someone who constantly questioned themselves every time they had to make a decision. It is how you get by in life, by pretending to have confidence in what you do, even when you don't. Remember this when you are next questioning your life or relationships. Everyone does it. Everybody is a person who lacks confidence in someway or another, and needs to blag their way through at some stage. Everybody suffers self-doubt. So don't let that scare you from taking a risk because most people will admire you for it. Don't ask 'why me?' Ask why not me? And you will be unstoppable.